yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
