If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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