So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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