i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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