I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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