your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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