Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
