dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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