38 yer olds are good kisserssss
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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