you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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