The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize