my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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