I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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