No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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