He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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