I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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