addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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