Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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