Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
