I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
