Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everyone says I win the strip club
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
