there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
