I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize