can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
