Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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