i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
