question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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