it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Are we still banned from the library?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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