Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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