I just gift wrapped bread.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize