eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
