So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize