...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize