Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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