i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
