you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
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I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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