The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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