$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
