is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
