i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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