Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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