I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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