i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize