the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
