I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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