How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
