It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
