theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize