Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
