New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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