eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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