Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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