Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can u get pink eye on your cock?
this boner is exhausting
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
