she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
