Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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