i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
