Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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