just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
